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St
Cyprian’s School – Eastbourne |
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MUM WILKES
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Cicely Ellen “We were transported from
Eastbourne Station in a charabanc run by a gas balloon on the roof and met at
the door by the most formidable, distinguished and unforgettable woman I am
likely to meet in my lifetime. This was Mrs L C Vaughan Wilkes or
“Mum”, the undisputed ruler not only of about 90 boys but of a
dozen masters and mistresses, a matron, under-matron, several maids, a school
sergeant, a carpenter, two or three gardeners, Mr Wilkes and their two sons
and three daughters. Cyril Connolly wrote “We called the headmistress Flip and the headmaster Sambo. Flip,
around whom the whole system revolved, was able, ambitious, temperamental and
energetic.”
The day and
night responsibility for 90 children is not one to be taken lightly and there
is a challenging conflict in developing independence and maintaining
discipline. Mrs Wilkes was strict with her discipline and having a strong sense of justice and would strike with her sharp
tongue at anyone who got above themselves, or was a bully, or sought
advantage at the expense of others. She was an excellent motivator
with an armoury of techniques for keeping control. Not above giving the
occasional clout or tweak, it was the “satirical remarks
at meals that pierced like a rapier” that were most effective. Gavin Maxwell wrote
“Because I was as
over-sensitive as a hermit crab without a shell these thrusts hurt far more
than I believe Flip ever intended them to; she was, I think, basically a
kindly person and certainly an extremely efficient one”. When Connolly
visited the school as an 18 year old he noted “Flip was confidential; I
saw her angry with one or two boys, then when they had gone, she would laugh
about them, and say what a lot of nonsense one had to tell them at that age,
how difficult it was to keep them in order.” . However
Mrs Wilkes really enjoyed the company of enthusiastic and intelligent
children and could be very indulgent. Maxwell records “She took me, another boy (already dressed in our
regulation green jerseys and corduroy breeches that rubbed with a purring
noise as we walked) and her daughter [Deryn], all of an age, to go blackberry
picking. We packed into her Willys Knight (two-seater and dickey, all painted
in two shades of brown) and drove off up the chalk downs and parked the car
and wandered in briar-choked disused farm lanes where the chalk was
everywhere like dirty snow underfoot and there was sunshine and big white
cumulus clouds blowing on the early autumn wind. We filled our baskets with
blackberries, and Flip gave us cake, and coffee from a Thermos; it ought to
have been a wonderful start, and I don't see what more she could have done,
but it didn't work because I was outside my environment…”. The
problem came when boys pushed their luck too far and upset her. With the day
to day stress and mood swings she could be unpredictable and temperamental
and the withdrawal of her affection was so keenly felt by those affected that
being “in or out of favour” became an important element of a
boy’s life. Like most powerful personalities she aroused strong
feelings. Most of the boys at the school adored her but inevitably a few were
unable to respond in the same way. As an independently-minded
woman with a business to run and a family to care for she might be considered
to have been years ahead of her time. At that time the only female that the
boys could compare her with was Elizabeth I. Connolly wrote “On all the boys who went through this Later
he revealed the confusion this caused in the days before female emancipation,
“We learnt the father values from a mother, we bit the hand that
fed us, that tweaked the short hairs above the ear. But it was a
woman’s hand whose husband’s cane was merely the secular arm.
Agonizing ambivalence” Described by Cyril Connolly as a “warm-hearted
and inspired teacher” her teaching of English, history, and scripture
was to influence at least two generations of writers. Longhurst wrote “[She] created a high standard of
essay-writing, at which I was one of the lowliest and most inarticulate
performers, little thinking that I was to earn much of my living by it later
on” One of her techniques was to use the King James Bible
as an example of good clear writing in contrast to “official-ese”
and hack journalism - the study of scripture was probably more literary than
religious. She ran an incentive scheme to encourage boys to read the best
literature. History can be dull,
and the issues hard to grasp for pre-teen children, so she employed the
principles now applied in television quizzes to stimulate interest and
attention. Longhurst again “She made us keep history notebooks filled with
jottings of quotations and any bits and pieces that took our fancy, akin to
the commonplace book of adult life” Connolly
concluded “Year by year, the air, the discipline, the teaching, the
association with other boys and the driving will of Flip took effect on me. I
grew strong and healthy and appeared to be normal for I became a good mixer,
a gay little bit who was quick to spot whom to make up to in a group and how
to do it.” After the school merged with Summerfields during the
war and after her husband died in 1947, “Mum” Wilkes retired to
St Cyprian’s Lodge at the entrance to the old school grounds. She died
aged 91 in 1967. Henry Longhurst wrote “A year or two ago, driving
by and seeing a light in her window, I thought to myself “If I
don’t stop now, I may never see her again”. She was 91 at the
time and I found her quite alone doing the Times crossword, which she said
she was finding more difficult than it used to be. She produced the ledgers
and scrapbooks of all the boys who had passed through the school and we
talked of many we had known in common, not forgetting Cecil Beaton and his
rendering of “Tit Willow” from the wings of the gymnasium stage.
She remembered every one of them and who they had married and how many
grandchildren they had, but for many, alas, the entries were closed Killed
1914, Killed 1916, Killed RAF 1940, Died of Wounds 1944….. “I
really am beginning to feel my age a bit” she said “now that my
oldest Old Boy is seventy-four” Jude James
“Comyn’s Cyril Connolly “Enemies
of Promise” 1938 Henry Longhurst “My
Life and Soft Times” 1971 Gavin Maxwell “The
House at Elrig” 1965 Biographical Research by Ancestor
United Last Updated February 2008 © Tim Tomlinson. All Rights Reserved |